Face Down in the Dirt of Life

I feel like Paul…wanting to give you my laundry list of all the reasons I am “qualified” to be writing to you. HA! You should laugh with me that even this thought entered my quart-size brain this morning.

And yet, there are a few things I simply want to put on the written page, because perhaps they will help you understand that I - maybe like you – am merely a desperate woman in need of a merciful Savior, who is willing to rescue me from the toughest enemy I will ever face…myself!

I don’t have a life-ending illness. I had rotator cuff surgery two months ago today. I have said, and maintain my stance this morning, that I would rather go through three childbirths than go through the pain I am enduring in therapy. Yes, let it be known fully that Connie is a wimp in the fullest sense of the word.

I have experienced nerve sensations that they tell me only one person in one thousand may experience after this type surgery. I am blessed to be noted among the statistical charts. Those sensations have left my fingertips feeling numb and withered, and my hand constantly sweats, though to me it just feels very cold and numb. My arm from the shoulder down aches constantly, and even the brush of a hair against my skin will make me scream from the discomfort. So imagine how the pat on my shoulder from a friend at church last week sent me to my knees in pain. Poor man didn’t know what he had done to me!

As I go through daily therapy to get my arm back to normal function, I feel a greater need to keep my mind within therapeutic ranges of normalcy. Thoughts doubting my ability to heal run like the wind through my mind as I struggle to lift a broomstick to my chest, stretching out the muscle that has begun adhering to the bone under my arm.

Our enemy has no mercy. He brings condemnation to us in our weakened state, and he pounds our mind with accusations – false accusations, I might add – about our worth.

Through the endurance and pain of therapy I have faithfully trod, sure that my God will not leave me alone or forsake me in this, remembering that HE ALONE is my Healer, full of mercy.

It should have come as no surprise to me in the midst of this battle that the enemy of my soul would ask permission to hit me while I am already down. And permission was granted.

While I cannot divulge the details at this time, the sting of the punch is still felt……. W-H-A-C-K!!!! The blow was excruciatingly painful, and totally blind-sided me.

While some may have taken the blow, jumped to their feet and pressed onward, I assure you that my mind raced to the “worthless” track and began playing it steady and fast.

God knows our frame…He remembers that we are dust. I immediately ran to Him for comfort, and for guidance.

You know what He told me?!?

But I say to you (Connie), love your enemies (give yourself for them), bless (speak well of) those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. Matt. 5:44

Oh God, do I have to??? Face down in the dirt of life I went…and daily His comfort to me has been His word.

This morning He put a new song in my mouth…an old hymn with new meaning.

Think about your own battles…the struggles you are facing that have put you face down in the dirt of life. Can you feel the weight of the enemy’s foot between your shoulder blades? Then I dare you to lift your face and cry out to the God who promises to answer you when you cry out to him, and make you bold with strength in your soul. (Ps. 138:3)

Now raise your voice to the heavens with me and declare to Our Mighty God: Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand has provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.