Soul Food

I love family dinner time.

I don’t necessarily cherish the work involved in preparing a meal and I’m definitely no outstanding cook, but I treasure the pause in the day when this fast-paced crazy world shrinks down to just the six of us seated around our well worn oak table. In that small space of time we laugh, talk about faith and things we’ve learned, dialogue over how mistakes could have been handled differently, and pray. It has become such a cherished time of reconnecting that I guard it like a hungry hound showing her teeth when something threatens her bone.

It hasn’t always been like that. When our first son was born, my husband was in school in the Netherlands and we lived in an apartment so tiny you could flush the toilet and stir the beans at the same time. (Not that I did...not that I did)

It wasn’t all that hard to stay connected in that small space but when the next 3 years brought two more sons and 3 house moves, somehow the "sit down connection" time got lost in the chaos of juggling bottles and spooning mush into wide open mouths while catching tossed bowls of toddler foods. 

It wasn't this table but I didn't bother to photograph the original event.


One day I stared at our lonely dining room table and it was almost like a little voice whispered....so who are you waiting for? Martha Stewart to show up and lay a spread on that table? This is your job! You can do this...in this age of ready made rotisseries and fresh baguettes (baked by someone else)  it can’t be that hard to drag high chairs to a table and actually sit down together.

So we did and I will never forget the first time the 5 of us sat around that tiny table together. The memory of it is permanently etched in my mind. Odd as it sounds, there was something very sacred about it. I scanned the faces of my husband and our 3 little man-cubs all 3 years old and under seated at the table and just felt a deep sense of family unity - something I had missed in the fragmented "stand between the high chairs and hurry up and chow down before you have to change the next dirty diaper" days. I had a profound sense that God had specifically put us together and how much we needed each other. No deep truths were pondered in those early days (unless you count 3 year old dialogue that revolves around matters like whether Jesus loves Power Rangers or Rescue Heros more) but a foundation was being laid.

And I felt like God was blessing this feeble effort to create family unity.

How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes. 
It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.  ~Psalms 133:1-3 (NIV)

More than 10 years have passed and I have since come to view the labor that goes into creating family dinners as a ministry to my family. An honored service to them, just as important as any other service the Lord has called me into. It’s not a perfect feat. Some nights still have to be "eat on the run nights" and others may find us in the grumpy silent mood, but for the most part many happy family memories and traditions have been birthed from the simple act of sitting down together for a meal.

Here are a few of the traditions and fun things that we’ve done along the way...

"Gold Plate". Whoever gets the gold plate gets to lead the pray and then hear words of encouragement from every other family member.

"Pick a nut to pray for" (My 5 year old is most fond of this one) We all decorated nuts to resemble ourselves and then we pick one to pray specifically for that night.  (Most have lost their heads now...take that however you want)

Draw and share something special about your day. Put a plastic table cloth on the table and hand out sharpies. You’ll discover who the artist are in the family along with lots of other info. Be sure to line your table with something "sharpie proof" first or it will boast the memories permanently.



I didn't paint any false pictures about meal time always being
civilized did I?  This should keep it real....

 And then on some special occasions we have "wear your favorite hat" night. 


It is also time we remember and pray for the various children, missionaries, the Khmer of Northern Thailand, and other loved ones God has put in our lives.

One of those others is Rick Morris. Since two of the African boys we pray for are named "Rick" and "Morris" prayer for our own local "Rick Morris" just follows naturally. He is probably the most prayed for church member by our boys. (Don’t know if it’s the name connection or his fine taste in football teams).

A prayer reminder near our table

How about you? What are some ways you connect with your family (present or past)? Any ideas you’d be willing to share here for others to glean from? Any encouragement from the more seasoned moms to the younger moms out there?

Talk to us.....

And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ.  ~Philemon 1:6 (NLT)