The morning held a chill over it that wouldn’t pass. She shivered a bit, even with the car heater blasting out its warmth, with only a slight glance toward him as she passed by.
He stood on the corner of the busiest intersection in town, newspapers at his feet. His hands were cupped over his mouth, the steam rising from them with every puff of air he extended their way.
It was a backwards glance that she gave in her rearview mirror. She was late for her morning appointment, and didn’t want to be bothered with the lingering thought of him. Her McDonald’s bag laid snugly on the seat beside her, the smell of her egg biscuit wafting upward with the heat, not to mention the aroma of the untouched coffee.
Errrr…how she hated the interruption of conviction. She flipped her car around, making sure she was in the lane closest to him. Wouldn’t you know it? The light turned a bright red just as the car in front of her slipped through, leaving her stopped directly beside him.
She rolled down her window and without a word shoved the bag and the coffee toward the man. His frigid hands brushed hers as he bowed to gaze into her window. “Oh, thank you!” was all he had time to say before the light changed and she pushed on the accelerator. In her rearview mirror she saw him cup his hands around the coffee cup, turn it up and drink.
Hesed (kindness shown without expectation of it in return).
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The call came 7 years after the separation which led to her divorce. The woman who called had been her friend – her close friend – before, but the pain of the divorce had left her bitter and angry, and certainly not in a position to still be her friend. They hadn’t spoken in 7 years – until this day.
The offer was to have lunch, with a brief explanation that she ‘had some ‘splainin’ to do. Out of curiosity alone, she accepted the invitation.
Once at the restaurant, the awkwardness of the initial meeting was thick as both women said their polite hellos and seated themselves at the table. As soon as the orders were in and the waitress had left them to their awkwardness, the woman who had initiated the meeting leaned up close to her once-dear friend and whispered strongly enough to penetrate the deepest silence – “I am soooo sorry that I haven’t been here for you, and I want to ask you to forgive me.”
From there the conversation continued for some time, with the woman explaining her confusion over the situation, and her inability to face it with her friend. She was now offering to pay for her friend and her ex-husband to go through marriage counseling, having heard they were in the process of reconciliation after 7 long years.
Tears flowed, but acceptance of marriage counseling was far from this woman’s mind at present. She needed individual counseling…healing for her broken frame…before she could ever enter into covenant relationship again.
Without a blink, her friend wrote out the checks week after week (12 of them to be exact) while the woman worked through issues of guilt, shame and confusion – all leading her back to a love relationship with her Savior in preparation for a new marriage restoring the covenant that she and her husband had broken, but which God faithfully remembered and was longing to restore.
Hesed (kindness shown without expectation of it in return).
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She was an outcast by every sense of the word. A long history of sexual misconduct left her feeling vulnerable and unlovely, dirty and abandoned. Although newly “redeemed” by a loving God, not to mention a loving spouse, she had not yet experienced complete freedom from guilt and condemnation.
It was the friendships she lacked and craved most. Women didn’t trust her, didn’t like her, didn’t want to be around her. She couldn’t blame them…she carried so much shame and a past of relentless haunting.
It was in the midst of her aloneness that the call came. A woman she had barely met and hardly knew was asking her to meet for coffee.
She hesitantly accepted, then immediately feared what this meeting might bring. As she approached the coffee shop, she was mortified to see the woman waiting for her outside at a table. Didn’t this woman know who she was? Didn’t she want to hide inside somewhere where her friends couldn’t see her? Why was she here anyway?
The conversation was social, kind, of the sort that made you hunger for more. And - in the process of time – the woman befriended her and loved her through her insecurities, past failures and sins. Never once did she bring up the darkness of her past, and in the strength of her gentleness, she taught the outcast to accept the love Christ had shown her.
Hesed (kindness shown without expectation of it in return)
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I could go on and on with tales from my past, and with every remembrance I fear there would be far more extensions of kindness (hesed) toward me rather than from me.
I would be amiss not to credit God with each encounter, for I surely know and recognize that His presence was with me in every situation, prodding me both to extend hesed, and to receive hesed. I promise you that receiving was much more difficult than giving!
The Psalmist wrote (Psalm 63:3): Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You.
Really? Better than life?
Because Your lovingkindness (hesed) is better than life, my lips shall praise You.
I challenge you today to look for and to expect His hesed (kindness) toward you, and to give Him the praise He is due.
Connie,
ReplyDeleteI think if I had to describe the book of Ruth in one word it would be "hesed". Thanks so much for the challenge and the examples that you have shared about what it means to give and receive hesed. It is definetely one of the biggest things I have learned through this study.