Growing up in the Presbyterian Church, I “learned” at an early age that we are “predestined” either to heaven or to hell. In my 12 year old brain, that equated with the understanding that it really didn’t matter what I did in life because God had already decided my future for me, and I had no choice in the matter whatsoever. That false knowledge led me down a path that would soon become my ruin.
Somewhere in my early 30s, I heard the word of God read for the first time in church. I mean, a pastor actually opened a Bible from a pulpit and quoted from it….L-O-N-G passages of truth that my aching soul was finally ready to hear and absorb. I really don’t recall that ever happening in the church I grew up in, but it could have. Truth be told, as a child I was far more interested in counting the letters of the alphabet one by one in the bulletin I held than I was in listening to the preacher.
Life’s circumstances since my childhood have given me plenty of opportunities to question the power of prayer. Everything from believing that the gay guy friend I had would be wooed into the Kingdom by my prayers of faith (he committed suicide instead) to believing that my son’s best friend would beat cancer and live to the ripe ‘ol age of 100 (she died at 17) plagued my thoughts. And somewhere in it all, I questioned again: What was the point of prayer if God – mighty and all-knowing God – had already decided our destiny?
1 John 5:14-15 claims: Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petition that we have asked of Him.
Really? We have what we asked of Him? Then why did my friends die when I pleaded for them to live? Did I miss something? Absolutely, I did. Those 4 little words…according to His will…..they just had to be there didn’t they? So I wonder, do we ask things of God that are in accordance with His will, or ours?
1 Timothy 2:1-4 says: The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. God wants not only us but everyone saved, you know, everyone to get to know the truth we’ve learned: that there’s one God and only one, and one Mediator between God and us – Jesus.
Well I prayed that my friend would be saved, and instead he committed suicide. What’s up with that, God?
Deut. 30:15-20 (parts) – I have set before you today life and good, death and evil….choose life, that both you and your descendants may live…
Okay, I get it. He had a choice, and he didn’t choose You, God. But my other prayers for healing…what about those?
Remember when David prayed that his sick son might live? (2 Sam. 12:16-20) He fasted and prayed fervently, but in the end, his son died. What did David do then? He got up and praised the Lord, washed his face and ate. Strange behavior for a father who would be burying his son a few hours later. I have to believe in that story that David trusted God more than he trusted himself.
I will not pretend to understand why some requests are granted and others seemingly are ignored. But this I do know: God is faithful. We see but dimly. He sees so much further down the road than we can possibly imagine.
He is the Great Physician. He is our Healer. His word confirms this to be so. Who are we to question the why and how of that healing?
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. Ps. 116:15
Healing for my son’s friend did, in fact, take place. Her cancer-ridden body was made whole in His sight – but not ours - at her physical death.
Choose life. Maybe those that we have prayed physical healing and life over who died in this life did, in fact, choose life. And perhaps theirs were the prayers answered in faith believing.
Oh God, increase my faith.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
To pray or not to pray….there really is no question. We have been invited to bring all our cares to Him, because He cares for us.
James 5:16: The effective, fervent prayer of a righteousness man makes much power available. (The same power that raised Jesus from the dead is alive in you if you have claimed Jesus as your savior!)
So, God, I do pray -
Give me understanding, according to Your word. Ps. 119:169
Amen. (So be it)
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